Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

they told me not to write here but i did

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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