What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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What rhymes with you? You.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Women's rights.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops