Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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School

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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2 Penises

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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