How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Asians.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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