How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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arena football

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Women's professional sports

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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