Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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Turkey Balls

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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