your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Barbara Streisand

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Black people

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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