I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Two white people walk into a bar what do they say? "hi"

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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