When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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