If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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George Bush.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops