Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

how long has dibey got left like :)

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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