If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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68

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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