Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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boobs

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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