Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

100 chefs walk into a bar

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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