What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops