Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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YOU

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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