Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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