How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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