HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Yes.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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