Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What time is it? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a Black and a Mexican in a car, they were on their way to church.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops