What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Paige

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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