What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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ObamaCare

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Mitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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