A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What is a question?

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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