I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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CHEEZECAKE

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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