Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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