How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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You're on fire.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops