Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Libraries.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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