Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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