wommmoaooammaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats one plus one penis

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +204

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

187

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops