Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

69

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

2 women were sitting quietly.

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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