When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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