Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops