what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

shauns beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops