A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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John Stamos.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Scott Gomez

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops