What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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