Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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