What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

Dogs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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