Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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