What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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Women's rights

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops