What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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poo

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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I hate blackniggers

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops