A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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.....Carrot Top....

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Pen15

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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Drunk irish man

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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