How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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Toaster

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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Patriarchy.

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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