What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

If u wanna get high, smoke weed

I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

My life :(

A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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