Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whoa there

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Do you know what they say? Words

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +55

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops