-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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No it isn't.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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peter charastabopouloulous

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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