Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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A Weight loss service that works

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops