Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops