A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

Passing by

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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