Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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