Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

mooooh im a cow

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

Poverty.

What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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