Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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My mom just died....

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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