Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +93

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how black is a black man? pretty black.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

thumb_up thumb_down -111

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +190

what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops