I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

can't wait until the baby boomers die

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +19

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops